What are Movie Mis-Treatments?
In filmmaking, a “treatment” is a prose summary of a movie or TV show episode. Hence, I have coined the term “mis-treatment” to refer to a comic treatment, recap, or “snark” of a movie. Essentially, they are comic summaries of bad movies which consist of the kinds of things I or friends say out loud when watching a movie or TV show, only I have written them down. In addition to summarizing plot, characters, and dialogue, I offer observations, sarcastic remarks, puns, cultural references, and other general abuse. I also avail myself of modern research techniques (i.e., a Google search) to add actual not-made-up information about a movie, actor, or filmmaker, or add a bit of context to the creation and release of a certain film.
Why are you doing this?
The short answer is that I find it fun. The long answer is that riffing on bad movies has long been a favorite pastime, dating back to my youth in mid-1970s suburban Boston, where Channel 56’s Saturday afternoon Creature Double Feature was watched each week with almost religious devotion. My discovery of the like-minded folks of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in the early 1990s renewed my enjoyment of movie “riffing.” So after all that background, a year or so ago, I was given one of those “50 Classic Science-Fiction Movies for $1” (or whatever) box sets for Christmas, and these turned out to be some of the worst movies ever made. So, I started this Mis-Treatment series as a number of blog posts as a way of getting through the box set—and it just mushroomed from there. I have now actually gone out and bought Night of the Lepus on DVD. I am not proud of this.
I do have to admit, though, that as someone who has eked out a meager living as a professional writer for the better part of the past 15 years, it is rather good exercise to describe in writing the plot, characters, and setting of a movie—in fact, I seem to recall these were actual exercises when I took screenwriting classes in college. It’s still, ultimately, about setting a scene and telling a story. Adding the jokes, comments, and “set pieces” is just the icing on the cake!
What kinds of movies do you mistreat?
For now, predominantly old, bad science-fiction and horror films, as they are a) my favorite genres, and b) the easiest to make fun of. And I have quite a supply of them thanks to my box set. This is not to say that I won’t be mistreating any other kinds of movies in the future. I may also venture into the world of TV shows at some point.
I haven’t seen the movie you are mistreating. What should I do?
Get on your knees and pray to whatever deity or deities you worship. These Mis-Treatments are actually written on the assumption that the average reader has not seen the original movie. If you have...well, you have my sympathies.
What if I want to buy a my own copy of a mistreated movie?
They can all be purchased on DVD, usually for less than $10. If you would like your very own copy for your very own mistreating, please purchase from Amazon using the links on the pages on this site. That way, this site gets a few dollars from the purchase. Thanks. If you go to the home page you can click the link to purchase an entire 50-movie box set, which has the majority (but not all) of the movies mistreated on this site.
Are you the only one doing this?
Heavens, no. There has been a long tradition of what is called “recapping” (see Wikipedia entry here). It originated in pre-Internet fanzines, but now there are a number of sites that provide humorous recaps of movies and TV shows. They tend to be more organized and methodical about it than I am. A sample of some recap sites includes The Agony Booth, The Movie Spoiler, Jabootu, Recapist, and more. And this is without mentioning the TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000, the direct-to-DVD Cinematic Titanic, or the podcast-based RiffTrax.
So are you just rehashing old MST3K jokes?
Of course not. Sure, comedians have a long tradition of stealing each other’s jokes, but in this case, it would just be wrong. So, while there are some movies that I have mistreated that MST3K has also done, I make it a point to go back and watch the MST3K episode before posting my own Mis-Treatment, just to make sure I have not inadvertently cribbed anything.
How often is there a new film mistreated?
Whenever I get around to doing a new one, but generally no less than once every couple of weeks.
Do your Mis-Treatments contain spoilers?
Oh yeah. Each write-up does reveal the details of the plot (such as it is) of each movie. However, the plots most of these movies can be figured out long in advance by just about any sentient being, or they don’t actually make any logical sense at all, so I hesitate to call them spoilers. More like “forewarnings.”
Why do you watch these movies if you hate them so much?
I don’t hate them. Well, some of them I do. Horrors of Spider Island is pretty loathsome on just about every level, but most of these movies, for all their ineptness, bad acting, cheesy special effects, and so on, can still be, at times, fun to watch. Although I would be lying if I said that some movies didn’t cause excruciating pain. (Yeah, I’m talking to you, Kong Island.) And I’m sure if one were to go through a “good” movie scene by scene and recap it, it would be easy to find some lapses in logic and other flaws to snark about. Some movies just have more than others. Lots more. (Yeah, I’m talking to you, Atomic Brain.)
You realize that it can take longer to read your Mis-Treatment than to actually watch the movie, right?
This may be true, but for most of these movies, watching them can seem longer. Much longer. So while Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet had a running time of less than 80 minutes, it easily felt like a five-hour epic. Still, I hope that my Mis-Treatments are entertaining enough that it’s not a chore to get through them. And, after all, no one is forcing you to read them, like a weird kind of Clockwork Orange thing.
I don’t get many of your jokes and references.
Please phrase it in the form of a question.
Why don’t I get many of your jokes and references?
Like most people my age who grew up in the 1970s and 1980s, I have a certain frame of reference, which is the cultural backdrop of those years. As a result, commercials, movies, TV shows, catchphrases, and other “artifacts” from those years tend to be common reference points for my generation. (The same generation that produced the creators of Mystery Science Theater 3000, The Simpsons, Family Guy, and other culturally reflexive shows, which is why we all tend to gravitate to the same kinds of references and callbacks.) What this means is that if you are older or, especially, younger than my generation, some of these references can seem obscure. I acknowledge this, and try to keep them to a minimum, or at least try to work in a variety of cultural references from all eras. However, classic film, TV, or literature references should be fairly “timeless.”
I’m a prude or I have kids who want to read your site. Any bad language, sex, or violence I should worry about?
I’m not a big fan of vulgar and profane language, so you’ll find none of it here. Perhaps the occasional mild expletive, but that’s about it. The violence is a function of what is in a particular movie, which usually tends to be more cartoonish than anything. After all, the quality of these movies is such that gore and violence are pretty ineptly presented, so they’re more laughable than gross. As for sex, well, in these kinds of movies there tends not to be any, barring the occasional scantily-clad space babe. But it’s all pretty mild stuff. In other words, you get much worse on network TV these days. However, I do warn you that I do have an unfortunate penchant for puns, so you may actually be wishing for profanity at some point.
Who are you anyway?
My bio can be found here.
Who designed your Web pages?
Why do you ask? I did, actually, and the present Mis-Treatment site is the end result of my having taught myself Adobe Dreamweaver. As a long time print designer, it has taken me a long time to start designing for the Web...so be gentle. As I improve my technical proficiency, I am hoping the site will start looking better.
I would like to contribute a Mis-Treatment of my own. What should I do?
Cry, basically. I don’t know; this has never come up, nor can I envision it coming up. If you have a burning desire, e-mail me and we’ll figure something out.
How can I contact you, should I wish to give you constructive feedback or, more likely, complain about something?
You may e-mail me at rromano@richtextandgraphics.com.